Social Work boundaries — #lifelessons are supposed to be hard.

A skilled social worker is evidenced by the finesse in which they set boundaries while maintaining a relationship.
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A high risk social worker’s ENTIRE job is boundary setting. That’s it. Easy enough, right? Turns out, this IS what makes the job so hard.

Sometimes social workers are setting boundaries while in that person’s home. Sometimes they are doing it while job coaching them at work. Sometime they are doing it while being yelled at by the very person they are supporting. Sometimes they are doing it while supervising interactions with their estranged children. Sometimes they are doing it while taking someone grocery shopping. No matter where it happens, boundaries are a critical part of the success of people we serve.

Social workers are agents of change for people that are in need of help. Remember that change comes about from pressure.

How do you know what to focus the pressure with a client?

1. Review the framework for the direction/outcome of the program you are working in. Let’s say it is an independent living program. The ONLY outcome metric that matters is “The person can live independently without support from others.” Thus, the ONLY question you should have is “Does this person have the skills to live independently successfully?” You should be actively asking yourself this question over and over again and designing a case plan around it.
2. Then you break it down…..What does it actually take for someone to successfully live independently? They must be able to work/receive income. They must be able to pay their bills. They must be able to cook or obtain meals for themselves. They must be able to take care of their bodies. The list goes on and on.
3. Then you break it down further… What are the skills someone has to be able to have to be able to do the break-down steps of independent living? The social worker’s job is to TEACH those skills.

At times, it is the social worker’s job to CREATE the pressure needed to teach skills by simply holding a boundary. Thus, here is how to create some pressure:

This is where boundaries come in. As a social worker, your ENTIRE job is to promote the decisions and create the structure to teach someone the skills to achieve their desired outcome. Every decision you make WITH the person (and in some cases, FOR the person) must then be in alignment with that. Essentially, you are helping them to experience and learn from life lessons in order to achieve their outcome.
A skilled social worker is evidenced by the finesse in which they set boundaries while maintaining a relationship.

Did the person run out of money for rent because they chose to spend it on cigarettes or drugs? So sad. #lifelesson and no, I’m not going to loan you money. Instead, I’ll support you in looking for a job to pay for it.

Did the person lose their job because they didn’t show up to work? So sad. #lifelesson and no, I’m not going to go and convince the boss to give it back to you. Instead, I’ll coach you on how to retain future employment.

Did the person miss their UA because they “forgot” to call? So sad. #lifelesson and no, I’m not going to call your probation officer for you. Instead, I will encourage you to call yourself and role play the conversation with you.

What will I do as your social worker? I will stand as a witness to your challenges. I will talk you through it. I will advise, support and guide you. I will advocate for your best interest….but I can’t do it for you. There are some things you have to do for yourself.

As a social worker you do not save someone from themselves, but help them learn from the experience and plan ahead better for the next time. Yes, this means that as the social worker you are going to watch A LOT of failures.It is hard, and that’s ok. It has to be hard sometimes to create #lifelessons that are valuable and meaningful. You are building a path for people to walk on. You are then continually redirecting them BACK to the path.

You are planting seeds that take years to grow into trees. It takes patience and determination and humor to watch someone walk on their own path when you so desperately want to walk it for them to “show them how it is done”. Yet, don’t you dare do it for them. Instead, model it for them and show them the way. Keep your fingers crossed that they choose the way that is best for them. Be there to support them when they don’t. Take a deep breath, pick up the bricks and start to build the path again.

For that is the path of the social worker — building and rebuilding paths for others.
Embrace the Pressure to teach life lessons.